I’ve been meaning to write a discussion post since January and I’ve been too snowed under with review copies to squeeze one in, but after seeing several threads on social media about blogger guilt, I figured it was the right time to actually take the time to write down some of the thoughts running through my head!
Guilt seems to be a common feeling for many book bloggers, for a wide variety of reasons. Honestly, any of us feeling bad about things is ridiculous, we have nothing to feel badly about. It’s time for us to collectively let those feelings go and be proud of what we do and remember that we all do this for the love of books.
Let’s talk about the reasons that we feel guilty. We have enormous, overwhelming TBR piles that are being added to daily. It’s a constant struggle to stay on top of things, I know I’m always juggling things around if I’m offered a review copy of a book that just sounds too good to pass up. There are never enough hours in the day, I don’t know that I’ll ever feel like I’m caught up and I’m confident I’m not alone there. So back to my first reason for guilt, you didn’t review a book in the timeframe that you had hoped you would. Now you feel bad, you know the author was counting on you for a review, and again, there just aren’t enough hours in the day! Let’s be real here, we’re not curing cancer, no lives will be lost if we don’t post a review on publication day. I’m a firm believer that a review will help a book gain exposure no matter if it’s two years past release date. Does prerelease hype help sales? Sure, but stressing out because life got busy and you can’t possibly get it done on time isn’t productive. Get to it when you can, I’m quite sure that most authors are very understanding people and will be grateful for a review when you are able. At least that’s been my personal experience.
There were several conversations on Facebook about book bloggers feeling guilty about not always having the time to share others posts and that branched off into not having the time to thank everyone that does share individually. When I first wake up, I’m overwhelmed with notifications. Emails, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc have blown up while I was sleeping. This is especially true if I’m participating in a U.K. blog tour as I schedule them to go live at 2 am my time so it’s morning there. I’m not complaining, I appreciate each and every person that takes the time to share my posts, but there is so much to catch up on! I spend at least an hour while my son eats breakfast going through notifications, then sharing everyone else’s posts, then sharing on Facebook groups, THEN posting the reviews on Netgalley, Amazon, Goodreads, etc. After that I respond to emails, which speaking of that, I used to respond to every single review request I received even if I wasn’t interested. I don’t have the time or the patience for that anymore. I’ve been closed to new review requests since January and if I get an email where I can clearly see that the sender didn’t even bother to read my policy, I just delete and move on. Let me get to my point before this turns into my first novel 😂 If I like a post that you graciously shared, I hope you know that means I’m extremely thankful. I just don’t have the time anymore to thank individually, and please don’t feel like you must thank me either, it’s not necessary. I know you appreciate it. I need to spend every single spare second actually reading if I have any shred of hope of catching up on Mount TBR.
I’m going to stop yapping for now, but I want to end by saying that if you’re ever feeling guilty about blog related things, please don’t! We are not paid for this, we all have life’s outside of blogging and we all do our best. This is supposed to be fun and not something that makes us feel upset or guilty.
Can you relate to blogger guilt? If so, what makes you feel guilty?
(I have so much more to say, but I didn’t want to bore you all to tears so I’ll save that for a part two on this subject)
Novelgossip 
YES! I felt super guilty last week as life got in the way and I hadn’t done anything crafty for my blog and i felt the need to just write a quick post explaining myself. Now I realise that i SHOULDN’T even have to explain myself, but i think because blogging to me is a personal journey as well. I crochet, and it can be a tough crowd sometimes with so many trends and things to stay in top of. I also feel guilty about not blogging because I am letting the blog itself down, I know that sounds stupid but I set myself a goal to do this and if i don’t it’s almost as if I’ve given up. Now I’ve started writing again and have even more things to do – But your so right, you shouldn’t feel guilty. *AND BREATHE*
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s so personal for us, it’s a direct reflection of who we are, so it kind of has to be. But don’t feel like you’re letting your followers down if life gets crazy. We all have the same issues and problems, no need to feel bad about it! It doesn’t sound stupid, I get it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG! I love this post! I think you have hit the nail on the head for all of us. And I do not mind if you never thank me!!!! I know you appreciate all the shares as much as I do. Life is too short to worry about the little things isn’t it? Xxx
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thanks so much Jo! It really is, we all have so much going outside of blogging. Your post from the other day about a day in the life of a book blogger was spot on, it’s a miracle we actually have time to read the damn books after everything else we do! 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
OH MY GOD CAN I BE ON YOUR BLOG TOUR FOR YOUR FIRST NOVEL…CAN I CAN I…..damn it, you’ve posted it already ;). Jokes aside, you make a lot of valid points. I used to thank everyone individually and would feel guilty if I couldn’t, but as long as, like you say, it’s acknowledged even by a ‘like’, why should we feel guilty? We have our own lives and a lot of us are doing this as a hobby. It’s a hobby to celebrate not a hobby to be guilty about. You are fabulous ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hahahaha!!!! Yes blog tour coming right up my lovely. I used to as well but it was taking so long that I just couldn’t. Then when I stopped to think about the fact that I don’t give a shit if I’m thanked I wondered, well the person sharing probably doesn’t either?! They know I’m appreciative, surely they do. You are fantastic too my friend 😘😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for this post! I basically agree with everything! I admit I never got to thank everyone individually, I just like the tweets and share some, but I of course appreciate everyone sharing my posts (and commenting, that’s what I love the most). I used to feel guilty because I didn’t have time to read and share and comment all your posts but now I’ve decided that it’s impossible so I just do what I can… yours is one of my favorites so I hope I don’t miss many posts 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s just it Annie, you just do the best that you can! And that’s awesome, because that’s what we’re all doing anyway. I’ll try not to comment while I’m sharing so I don’t get distracted but then I’ll forget to go back and comment later. Face palm. You’re one of my faves as well and I appreciate all of your support! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s just too much, with all the blogs we follow and Facebook and Twitter… let’s relax and enjoy 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
PREACH! 👏🏼🙌🏼 I concur 100% with everything you’ve said. I think another issue is feeling bullied by publishers. I’ve had a few that hard core supported me in the beginning, and because I gave one of their books a 2 star review they dropped me completely. I’ve come to accept that if a publisher expects dishonesty from me than I don’t need their support; it’s nice getting free books but I’d rather purchase a book than have unrealistic expectations over my head.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Omg that’s such bullshit!! I haven’t had that happen to me (yet, or that I know of 😂) but that is so wrong. I would never write a glowing review of a book I didn’t like either and if that’s an expectation then I agree with you, it’s not worth it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fantastic post, Amy!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Ronnie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post thanks for sharing this. It’s so good to be reminded that it’s supposed to be a fun hobby 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
It can feel like a job at times, can’t it?! Definitely helps to remember it’s not and that we’re unpaid and it should be fun! Thank you 😍
LikeLiked by 2 people
It also confirms that setting up social media for my blog isn’t right for me at the moment. I don’t want the pressure of having to keep it up to date all the time and worry about all the traffic!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s a mixed blessing, I’ve meet so many fantastic people, but it can be easy to get caught up in the social media rabbit hole as well.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think it would definitely be a rabbit hole thing for me at the moment lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great post! I think we all feel bad that sadly we are not super human and lack the ability to read and review two books a day. I HATE having to sort through my shelves of TBR and admit that I just can’t get to every book no matter how much I may want to. I feel like I do as much work about reading than actual reading! With You Tube, writing reviews, keeping up with everyone else it’s crazy the time it all takes!
We should all pat ourselves on the back though because even if we feel behind, we are all amazing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s overwhelming to sort through the TBR, isn’t it?! I don’t even do the Booktube thing I know I’m missing out but the last thing I need is more social media haha. We all are most definitely amazing!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I started the booktube about 6 weeks ago. It’s fun but an incredible amount of work. But thats what we do best, toss more on the pile lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha yep fair point!
LikeLike
Love, love, LOVE this post!! Yes, I always feel guilty too and I’m so glad I’m not alone. Like everyone else, I receive so many requests a week to review books. I try and sit down and reply to every one by politely declining or accepting. However, the last time I did that it took me over 2 HOURS! Not doing that anymore… As far as thanking everyone that shares my post on twitter, etc, I like it and hope they know it’s enough. I try and share everyone else’s, but there are times I”m just not able to and hope my fellow blogger friends will understand!
This is a great start to a novel…LOL! Can’t wait for part 2! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah two hours is insane!! We still need time to read haha. I think we all do understand, that was kind of my point, we shouldn’t feel guilty when we’re all in the same boat. Haha not how I expected my first novel to go 😂😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love this post I’m guilty of feeling guilty 😂😂😂that’s why I’m sticking to my one day a week away from social media as I spend far to much time sharing posts and not reading
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a fantastic idea! I don’t think I have the willpower 😂😂
LikeLike
I was nodding and agreeing with the hitting the like button is enough to say thank you thing when we talked about this a few days ago on FB. And yet, since then I’ve still been going out of my way to thank everyone because I don’t want anyone to think I’m a rude newbie. 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
😂😂 I would never!! Liking is a thank you as far as I’m concerned
LikeLiked by 1 person
Drop the Mic!! 🎤
You’ve nailed it, ironically I said to my Husband only a couple of hours ago that I was feeling really stressed and guilty because I have been really busy this week and I haven’t read as much as I had planned so am behind. He looked very confused and said “how are you behind with something you do for fun?” So yeah!
Thanks for this post REALLY needed it today!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Perfect timing then!! Your husband is exactly right and I’ve had similar conversations with mine. I’ll say I’m behind on my reading too, and he’s like, says who?! It’s purely self inflicted
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great posts Amy and you have summed up perfectly how I think a lot of us feel. I’m great at doing guilty and trying very hard to nip it in the bud as we all should xxx
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks Abbie!
LikeLike
So much guilt…. especially right now, I had the audacity to go on holiday and since then I have had a really unlucky streak of books I haven’t enjoyed or had the motivation to finish.
I’ve even written reviews up in word docs but haven’t had the motivation to turn them into review posts yet, I feel like I’ve failed as a blogger but I still can’t be bothered doing them just yet.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nia I feel your pain! I recently had two DNF in a row then one I managed to struggle through was awful for me. It’s tiresome! Just get to the reviews when you can, no sense forcing yourself when you’re not in the right frame of mind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post. You’ve voiced everything I was beginning to feel but thought I was the only one “is it just me?”. Obviously not!
Thank you Amy x
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! You’re definitely not alone.
LikeLike
This is a great post Amy! You pretty much covered everything that we as bloggers feel badly about. It’s sometimes stressful being a blogger.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! It can definitely be stressful but I wish we wouldn’t let it get to us, it should be fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I couldn’t agree more with all of your points and I know I’m not alone in this. I’m not particularly active on social media since my European time is always an obstacle when it comes to interacting with others, I do my best to visit blogs during the week though and I wish I had time to do more. But I mostly agree with ARCs and denying them, now for instance I have 3 books coming my way soon and I’m holding myself from accepting requests because I know I won’t be able to handle everything when the time comes. Great discussion!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! It’s always an issue of needing more time. Sometimes it’s best to close off to requests so we don’t get too overwhelmed.
LikeLike
Thank you for this wonderful post! I agree with everything 100%, as it looks like all the other commenters have too. It’s good to remind ourselves we are doing this for fun 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! After having conversations on Facebook I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way, but it’s so nice to know you’re not the only one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
you’re doing a wonderful ‘job’, Amy. please carry on but without the guilt! sorry about adding to your TBR 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much Jennie! And haha it’s fine I’m really looking forward to your book. 😊
LikeLike
Fantastic post, Amy!! I am so glad I am not the only one!!! I thought because I am a dreadful planner and forget to check my diary that I was causing my own stresses but seems we have the same blogging guilt!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Lisa! I think these feelings are pretty typical.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Rambling Lisa's Book Reviews and commented:
So glad it isn’t just me! Just need to remember we do this for fun, not guilt!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Fantastic post!!!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Janel!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loving this post because it is the reminder we all need at some point. I was deling with a lot of guilt. I realize now that most of this was misplaced frustration with my health limitations and not wanting to accept them. When I made the decision to post about my health it helped tremendously. It allowed me the freedom of knowing that if my friends and followera knew what was happening, they would aure understand why I “disappear” or fall behind. My other issue has been my wanting to stay as active in the community when I am not able. But sometimes I realize this is not actually guilt and just more of a standard I hold myself to. But yes… I am so guilty of guilt haha. Thank you for tackling this topic ❤ Def time to let go!
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thanks sweets! I’m so glad you shared about your health, I’m sure it was freeing for you. It’s so hard to keep up with everyone and I think if we admit it’s impossible maybe we won’t feel so bad?!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is exactly it Amy ❤ Acceptance or expectations has been my personal motto for the last few months. I even have it written post its everywhere 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh God yes! I relate to all of this and I get so stressed out!😕 Thank you for writing about this.🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone?! You’re welcome
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also no longer reply to most review requests because I’m basically closed to requests, too. I’m not answering you if you didn’t read my policy or if you put me on some random mailing list without my expressing any interest. I agree it saves so much time!
I try not to stress out about blogging in general though. I do it for fun, so if it’s not fun, I probably need to step back and reevaluate.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Isn’t that frustrating?! At least make the effort to show that you clicked on my blog before contacting me.
LikeLike
Oh I feel you! I fell so behind because of the packing to move, and I missed several self-imposed deadlines that I did for indie authors that emailed me pleading for a review. I haven’t been able to read ANYTHING for fun bc of all the obligations.
So I decided that I am going to read at my own pace and only follow through with deadlines the best I can.
I love this post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good for you!! It should be fun, I’m sure we all started as something fun to do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, it’ll always be fun bc I have amazing ppl like you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true this community is so amazing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
AMEN!!! 100% agree!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great conversation and so needed! It all comes down to time and none of us can create more of it (sadly)! I know I feel guilt for all the same things you do and then on the flip side, I feel guilty when blogging gets in the way of something with family or friends. I find blogging really fun, when I’m not putting pressure on myself. So, I need to find a better way to do that all the time and create a little better balance. In the words of my lovely grandmother, “Guilt is a wasted emotion!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a really good point about the flip side! Balance is so key, I’m hoping to be better about it from here on out.
LikeLike
Thank you for your thoughts that rang true!! I am certainly feeling this especially as a blogger hitting her 1 year mark!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh man I bet you are! I’m not quite a year in yet and I’m already feeling it big time
LikeLike
Wow what a great discussion post Amy! I think so many of us feel the same way. For me, most of my guilt revolves around starting to feel like I might not have the time to thoroughly read and comment on and share everyone’s posts that I enjoy following. I still feel like I need to thank everyone for sharing on twitter but if I felt that everyone was on board with liking equaling thanks it would save so much time! I’m perfectly happy with people liking my shares as a thank you….maybe we can all collectively agree on that 🙂 I’ve pretty much said no to every review request as I just know how picky I am and I just want to stick with my own TBR for the most part. I also agree with you and Chelsea…if a publisher isn’t happy with an honest review, low rating or not, then I wouldn’t want to work with them anymore. CAn’t wait for part 2!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much Renée! It definitely seems to be super common to feel the guilt. I swear I feel the same, I would love to spend way more time going through everyone’s blogs and making sure I don’t miss anything but it’s impossible. Most people seem to be on board, and I stopped thanking for the most part a couple of weeks back and so far I haven’t made anyone mad I don’t think! 😜isn’t that crazy about Chels and the publisher?! We all pride ourselves on honest reviews. Not sure if part two will be next because now I’m thinking about doing book blogger myths… so many people seem to be misinformed about what we actually do.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That would be a great post, especially the focus on myths…I’ve been thinking about a discussion post on my continual struggle over keeping star ratings for my reviews on the blog:)
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s an awesome idea!! Just on Facebook we had a pretty good discussion about it so your blog would be even better.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll probably have to read this again to let the message soak in. When it comes to social media, namely twitter, I do guilt on a grand scale. I take the social part too seriously and feel bad if I just hit the Like button to express my gratitude.
I recall, recently as in this year IIRC, one blogger (Blogger 1) telling another blogger (Blogger 2) on twitter that Blogger 2 didn’t have to thank Blogger 1 for every tweet. I remember thinking, surely Blogger 1 means that her friends don’t have to thank her – that it’s understood. I guess I was wrong.
This is a really good topic for discussion and learning and yet, I feel guilty that I haven’t liked every comment here 🙂 Thank you for clearing some things up Amy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
See I consider all the book bloggers I follow on social media friends to some extent. I love being supportive of others and I greatly appreciate the support I receive. So definitely don’t feel like you need to thank me!
LikeLike
I can so relate to this, like majority of book bloggers and I completely agree- time to let the guilt go. (This makes me think of a Korn song) Anyway… You wrote down some things that I have been mulling over for a while myself- like all the thank yous… because while they’re nice and personal, it seems to become very impersonal the more I do it, the more I say thank you. Over and over again… Not sure if this makes sense? Because of course we all appreciate- we notice and we’re grateful… but surely, there is sense in the ‘unspoken’ as well? Comfortable silences and what not? 😀
But then, someone else comes along and posts a rant around not being ‘social’ enough, not replying to all the tweets, not leaving a long enough comment, and that just makes me feel like a failure again and I end up pushing myself to do more… Sometimes, as you say, something’s just got to give. We do have lives and JOBS besides blogging.. so, priorities!
Great post! Sharing this!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Totally makes sense! I feel like a robot at times typing thanks over and over again and it definitely loses that personal feel when in actuality I’m so grateful for the time they take to share! Thanks so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful words, hope I can remember them the next time I’m feeling guilty that I didn’t write a review on a book that I read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Martie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For a while I felt guilty, about a year into my blog when I started to request review copies. Now not so much. I do feel bad about not getting back to people in a timely way when they comment on my blog – often it’s a day later because of work and the fact I spend my mornings doing social networking etc. and nights reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s freeing to let those guilty feelings go! I think the fact that you go back and comment anyway speaks highly of you, I don’t think anyone expects an immediate reply.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a wonderful post! You’re absolutely right that it’s completely ridiculous to feel bad about anything associated with what we do as bloggers, although I’m as guilty as the next blogger when it comes to this. I’ve just had a week that’s not been great (putting it mildly!) and I feel awful that I’ve not been able to write reviews or to do as much sharing of other blog posts as I would have liked. Will try to let these feelings go now 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think anyone is judging you, let it all go! 😊 and thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha – will do!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty and no one has the right to tell a blogger how to run their own blog x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! It’s our personal thing, we shouldn’t ever feel badly about what we do or what we don’t post.
LikeLike
This is a great post! I’m quite new to the book blogging game but already seeing signs of blogger guilt and glad to know it happens to everyone!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! It definitely happens to most of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said Amy! I am so happy that you said that you shouldn’t feel guilty about reviews not going up ASAP. I have a very large NetGalley hole that I am working on digging myself out of, which I do feel guilty about, BUT my theory is that a review a year later is still beneficial to the author… I mean I’m sure they would want a steady flow of reviews, and not just a bunch around the release date of their book. I generally feel guilty about not reading EVERY post from the bloggers I follow, but I am learning to accept the fact that I am just one person and I can’t possibly read all posts.
Great post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally agree! A review anytime must be helpful. Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally agree with you that this is supposed to be fun- and I loved your attitude here!! Excellent post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I’m working on part two for next week
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome! Oh awesome- I look forward to it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person