Release date: February 3, 2026
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Publisher: Harper Audio
Synopsis:
A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder meets Tell Me Lies in this binge-worthy debut murder mystery about a college student whose senior year takes a deadly turn when her exes start turning up dead…
Every time a guy breaks my heart, I write him a eulogy in my journal. It’s kind of my thing—closure through creative mourning. They don’t actually die… or, at least, they didn’t.
Now? These guys aren’t just dead to me, they’re dead to everyone. And I’m the prime suspect.
With my senior year at Pembroke College—and my entire future—on the line, I’ve got no choice but to play detective. Unfortunately, that means teaming up with my long-standing frenemy, Asher, who is insufferable and somehow always there when I need him the least. We bicker, we banter, we occasionally almost hook up, but with the body count rising and my name all over the suspect board, there’s no time to get distracted.
Between college parties, messy exes, suspicious deaths, and a murder investigation I never asked to be a part of—one thing’s for this is not how I thought my last year would go.
Here’s to hoping I can find out who the real killer is… before someone ends up writing my eulogy.
Review:
Here Lie All the Boys Who Broke My Heart by Emma Simmeman is one of those audiobooks that grabs you immediately and refuses to let go. Narrated by Andi Arndt and Aaron Shedlock, this was an instant binge for me. Andi Arndt is a true comfort narrator—her voice is soothing, grounded, and somehow calming even when she’s describing murder, toxic relationships, and spiraling college chaos. She brings so much depth and emotional clarity to Sloane, a protagonist who is messy, flawed, and deeply cathartic to follow.
Sloane’s coping mechanism (writing eulogies for her exes as a form of closure) is morbid, creative, and surprisingly relatable. Many of these relationships were unhealthy and toxic, and the story doesn’t shy away from portraying that reality. When those exes start turning up actually dead, the book leans hard into suspense territory, with a smart, compelling mystery at its core. If you like college kids behaving badly, poor decisions stacking on top of each other, and consequences lurking around every corner you’ll like this and I can easily see why it’s being compared to Tell Me Lies and A Good Girls Guide to Murder.
The enemies to lovers dynamic between Sloane and Archer adds another delicious layer of tension that is banter filled, sharp, and just toxic enough to fit the overall vibe. These characters aren’t trying to be good people, and that’s what makes the story so fun. The energy is campy, juicy, and chaotic in the best way, with a solid mystery threading it all together. This audiobook fully embraced the mess, the drama, and the suspense, and I had a blast listening from start to finish.
Overall rating: 4/5
Thanks to the publisher for my review copy.
